Fertility Challenges & Pregnancy Loss
Help for Fertility Challenges
You are at the time in your life when you're ready to start your family only to be left disappointed and confused. Every month you stress about your period starting and are devastated time and time again. Everyone talks about how to prevent pregnancy but never the reality that it could possibly be so difficult to conceive. Why didn't anyone warn you? Infertility affects about 1 out of 8 couples, so why do you feel so alone?
Your feelings are valid.
This may feel like a lonely time in your life. You notice now more than ever all the baby bumps and children running around. You’re scrolling through Instagram only to see 5 new pregnancy announcements, you check the mail to see the invitation to your coworkers baby shower and you can’t stand people asking you “when are you going to have a baby?” Everyone else seems to be moving forward with their lives while you are stuck. Because of this, isolation is so common when experiencing fertility challenges.
Motherhood tends to be deeply embedded in identity. “Who am I without a child?” “My body is failing me.” “I can’t do anything right.” “I hate my body.” If you are having any of these thoughts, please know, this is not your fault and you do not have to struggle alone.
Pregnancy Loss Treatment
You go from on top of the world, so excited to be pregnant to completely devastated by loss. No matter how far along you were in your pregnancy, it all hurts just the same. This may have been something you never expected and has left you questioning everything. It is important that you grieve your baby and all the life events you dreamt up the second you saw your positive pregnancy test.
Instead of the joyfulness that comes along with pregnancy, you are dealing with hospital bills and birth and fetal/infant death certificates. Instead of seeing your baby sleep in their nursery, you are deciding what to do with all the baby gear you bought. You are also coping with physical changes; your body no longer being pregnant, your breast milk coming in and the return of your period. Not to mention, the stress on finances, intimacy, and your relationships.
Support is so important during this time. You are not alone and do not need to suffer in silence.
How I Can Help As Your Therapist
Support is what you need and deserve right now. Maybe you’re so used to helping everyone else but now is the time to take care of yourself. You might not know who you can turn to and trust. You’ve probably heard some hurtful statements like “at least you weren’t THAT pregnant,” “just relax and it will happen,” or “it will happen when it’s meant to happen.” Sometimes family and friends say the wrong things which can make you feel even more alone.
This is where I come in, my ultimate goal is to provide you with a safe space to process any and all thoughts and emotions you are feeling. There is nothing off limits in therapy and it is so vital to your emotional healing to process what you are going through. You don’t have to fake being “okay” or hold back your emotions to spare someone else, you are free to be as open, emotional, and vulnerable as you need.
I am here to help you navigate the challenges you are going through. We can work together to come up with a plan for when someone asks why you aren’t pregnant or when you get a gender reveal invitation in the mail. We will talk about healthy coping strategies to aid in the grieving process you are going through. I can provide guidance and we will collaborate in coming up with solutions that work for you.
Online Resources for Pregnancy Loss Help
Books for Pregnancy Loss
I Had a Miscarriage by Jessica Zucker (@ihadamiscarriage on Instagram)
Healing Your Grieving Heart After Miscarriage: 100 Practical Ideas for Parents and Families by Alan D. Wolfelt
Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion, and Other Pregnancy Loss by Kim Kluger-bell
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis