10 Things Moms Are Really Talking About in Therapy
Postpartum Anxiety, Identity Loss, Burnout & More - You’re Not Alone
Motherhood can feel incredibly isolating - even when you’re surrounded by people. The pressure to be grateful, keep it all together, and bounce back quickly can make it hard to admit when you’re struggling.
As a licensed therapist specializing in perinatal and postpartum mental health in New Jersey, I sit with moms every single week. And no matter what their life looks like on the outside, the truth is this:
They’re feeling a lot.
They’re holding a lot.
And they often think they’re the only ones.
If you've ever wondered, “Is it just me?” - this post is for you.
Here are 10 things moms are really talking about in therapy, especially during the postpartum period and early years of motherhood.
1. “I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore.”
One of the biggest themes in therapy for moms is the loss of identity after becoming a parent. The version of you before baby feels far away. And the version you are now? You’re still figuring her out.
This is part of a psychological shift called matrescence - the process of becoming a mother that transforms your body, mind, and sense of self.
2. High-Functioning Anxiety in Motherhood
Many moms I work with are doing everything - managing the household, showing up at work, caring for their kids - yet feel constantly on edge.
This pattern is known as high-functioning anxiety, and it’s common among mothers who look “put together” but feel like they’re one small hiccup away from unraveling.
In anxiety therapy for moms in New Jersey, we explore the perfectionism, overthinking, and emotional load that keep your nervous system on high alert.
3. Postpartum Emotions That Go Beyond the Baby Blues
Postpartum mental health includes so much more than the “baby blues.”
Many moms experience postpartum anxiety, irritability, guilt, overstimulation, and shame - and wonder why they can’t just feel happy.
In postpartum therapy, we talk about the full emotional spectrum of motherhood and learn strategies to manage the highs, lows, and everything in between.
4. Fertility Grief and Fear of Miscarriage
For many women, the journey to motherhood is marked by loss, fear, or uncertainty. Whether you’ve experienced miscarriage, secondary infertility, or IVF, these experiences can leave lasting emotional wounds.
Perinatal therapy creates space to process grief, manage anxiety, and find hope again - even after heartbreak. I often work with women in fertility therapy who need help carrying the weight of what they’ve been through.
5. Marital Stress After Baby
It’s normal to feel disconnected from your partner after baby.
Many moms in postpartum therapy sessions share that they feel unseen or unsupported, even when their partner means well.
Therapy can help couples reconnect, communicate more clearly, and rebuild intimacy as they navigate this new stage together.
6. Fear of Uncertainty
Moms often crave control - over their baby’s sleep, their home, their emotions, their future. But motherhood is unpredictable.
In therapy for new mothers, we talk about learning to tolerate uncertainty without spiraling into fear. Together, we build tools that help you stay grounded even when things don’t go as planned.
7. Guilt and Shame
For not loving every moment.
For needing help.
For being angry, touched out, or overwhelmed.
Guilt and shame are some of the heaviest emotions moms carry - especially those with high standards and big hearts. In maternal mental health therapy, we explore where those beliefs come from and how to replace them with self-compassion and grace.
8. Burnout from the Mental Load
The mental load of motherhood is invisible but exhausting.
Managing schedules, meals, appointments, emotions, and responsibilities can leave you depleted and resentful — even when everything “looks fine.”
In therapy for moms in NJ, we talk about redistributing the mental load, setting boundaries, and recognizing that needing rest doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you’re human.
9. Old Wounds Resurfacing
Motherhood often reawakens parts of your past you didn’t expect.
A baby’s cry might stir old fears. A partner’s silence might feel like abandonment.
Perinatal and postpartum mental health therapy helps you understand how childhood experiences shape your parenting - so you can respond with awareness instead of reaction.
10. Nervous System Overload
It’s hard to feel calm when your body is in a constant state of alert.
Difficulty sleeping, a tight chest, irritability, tears that come out of nowhere - these are all signs your nervous system is overworked.
In trauma-informed therapy or EMDR for birth trauma, we focus on nervous system regulation to help you feel grounded, present, and safe in your own body again.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone
If you’ve read through this list nodding, tearing up, or feeling a little too seen — take that as a sign you’re not alone.
These are not failures.
These are not weaknesses.
These are signs that you’re experiencing one of the biggest transformations of your life - and you deserve support.
Therapy for moms can help you feel more grounded, more connected to yourself, and less alone in the process.
Ready for Support?
I offer therapy for moms in New Jersey navigating:
🌿 Postpartum anxiety and depression
🌿 Fertility struggles and miscarriage
🌿 Identity shifts and matrescence
🌿 High-functioning anxiety
🌿 Burnout and the mental load of motherhood
All sessions are virtual across NJ, so you can receive therapy from the comfort of your home.
Related Posts:
What Is Matrescence? Understanding the Transition to Motherhood
Healing Birth Trauma with EMDR Therapy: How Therapy Can Help Moms Enjoy Motherhood Again
Parenting Through Chaos: 5 Therapist-Backed Coping Skills for Moms Facing Anxiety
Reclaiming Your Identity in Motherhood: You Are More Than Just “Mom”