How to Help Someone with Postpartum Depression
By Danielle Smith, LCSW, PMH-C
Postpartum Depression is Real—And Support Matters
Becoming a new parent comes with enormous emotional and physical changes. While many new moms experience hormonal shifts, exhaustion, and overwhelm, some go on to develop postpartum depression (PPD) - a serious but treatable mental health condition.
If someone you love is struggling, your support can make a powerful difference. This guide will help you recognize the signs of postpartum depression and offer compassionate, meaningful ways to show up for them.
Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression: What’s the Difference?
Baby Blues
Affects up to 80% of new moms
Caused by hormonal changes + sleep deprivation
Appears 2–5 days after birth
Lasts up to 2 weeks
Symptoms: mood swings, tearfulness, irritability, feeling overwhelmed—but usually balanced with moments of joy
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
Lasts longer than 2 weeks
Symptoms include:
Frequent crying or emotional numbness
Exhaustion and hopelessness
Irritability or rage
Difficulty bonding with baby
Anxiety or panic
Appetite/sleep changes
Shame, guilt, or thoughts of harm
What You Might Hear Instead of “I’m Depressed”
New moms rarely say, “I think I have postpartum depression.” Instead, listen for phrases like:
“I don’t feel like myself.”
“I haven’t showered in days.”
“I don’t feel connected to the baby.”
“This is all too much.”
“I just want to be alone.”
These are red flags that she might be silently struggling. Many moms suffer in silence because of shame, guilt, or fear of being judged.
6 Ways to Support a Loved One with Postpartum Depression
1. Ask How She’s Really Feeling - And Listen
Don’t wait for her to open up. Ask gently, then listen without judgment or advice. Hold space for sadness, anger, guilt, or numbness—whatever she’s feeling is valid.
“How are you doing - not just the baby?”
2. Avoid Comparisons
Even with good intentions, saying things like “breastfeeding was easy for me” or “just sleep when the baby sleeps” can cause harm. Her experience is her own.
Instead, say:
“I can’t imagine how hard this is, but I’m here with you.”
3. Remind Her This Is Temporary—and Treatable
She may feel like it will never get better. Reassure her that PPD is not her fault, and she can and will feel like herself again - with time, care, and support.
“This isn’t forever. You’re not alone in this.”
4. Offer Specific Help
Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try:
“Can I drop off dinner this week?”
“I’m coming by to fold laundry.”
“Want me to take the baby for a walk so you can nap?”
These small actions make a big impact.
5. Reassure Her That She’s a Good Mom
PPD can make even the most loving moms doubt themselves. Remind her she’s doing her best - and that’s more than enough.
“You’re a good mom. This is hard, and you’re showing up.”
6. Support Her Choices Without Judgment
Whether it’s therapy, medication, formula feeding, or asking for more help - support her, not second-guess her. Respect her decisions as she finds her way through this season.
“Whatever you need to feel better - I’ve got your back.”
Final Thoughts: Be the Safe Place She Can Lean On
Postpartum depression doesn’t mean someone is weak or failing. It means they need support, compassion, and professional care.
If you or someone you love is struggling, help is available - and healing is possible.
👉 Learn more about postpartum therapy
📧 Email: danielle@empoweredcounselingnj.com
📞 Schedule a free consultation: Click here
