How to Cope & Thrive During the Holidays as a New Parent

By Danielle Smith, LCSW, PMH-C

The holidays aren’t always the happiest time of the year and that’s okay.

If you're a new parent feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, you are not alone—and it is not your fault. You may have envisioned a magical first holiday with your baby, only to be met with stress, exhaustion, and unmet expectations. The good news? There are ways to take care of yourself and still create beautiful, meaningful moments.

Let’s talk about how to cope - and thrive - during the holidays as a new parent.

1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Yes, this is a tough one. But it’s also the most powerful way to protect your mental health this season.

Maybe you used to attend every holiday party, arrive early, stay late, and bring the best dessert. But now, with a baby in tow, things are different. Just because you can do it all doesn’t mean you should - especially if it comes at the expense of your well-being.

✅ Decide which gatherings matter most and say “no” to the rest.
✅ Leave early if needed - your baby’s bedtime and your peace of mind matter.
✅ Set a plan ahead of time so you’re not negotiating on the spot.

It’s okay if others don’t understand. You’re protecting your energy for what matters most.

2. Practice Self-Compassion Over Perfection

You might not hang every ornament. The house might not look perfect. The meal might not be Instagram-worthy. And that’s more than okay.

Let go of the idea that you have to do everything exactly as you did before baby. This season is about adjusting expectations - not lowering standards, but adapting them with love and self-compassion.

🎄 Skip the things that feel like pressure, not joy.
🎁 Focus on being present over being perfect.

You are doing enough. You are enough.

3. Create Simple, Joyful Memories

Saying “no” to what drains you creates space to say “yes” to what matters.

No need to create 15 new traditions. Simply slow down and soak in this season with your baby. Matching pajamas, looking at lights, singing lullabies - these little moments become the memories.

👶 Rock your baby while sipping cocoa
📸 Take a few relaxed, cozy photos
🍪 Bake cookies—even if it’s from a mix

Presence > Perfection. Every time.

4. Ask for Help - And Mean It

This isn’t the year to do it all. Hosting? Ask others to bring dishes. Need rest? Ask someone to hold the baby while you shower. You’re still an amazing parent and partner when you delegate.

💡 Tip: Keep a running list of small tasks guests can help with. When someone says, “What can I do?” you’ll have an answer ready.

Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable. It makes you human.

5. Stay Present With This Grounding Technique

The best way to make memories is to live them. If your thoughts spiral or anxiety rises, come back to the moment with this 5-4-3-2-1 grounding strategy:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can feel

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. You’re here. You’re safe. You’re doing it.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve Joy, Too

Take a moment to reflect on what you want this holiday to feel like. Then build your plans around that—not perfection, not obligation. Flexibility is key, and so is grace. Let go of the pressure to make it all magical—and be present for the magic that’s already here.

If you’re struggling emotionally or just feeling completely maxed out, support is available. Therapy can offer you a safe space to process the overwhelm and reconnect with yourself.

👉 Learn more about postpartum therapy
📧 Email: danielle@empoweredcounselingnj.com
📞 Schedule a free consultation: Click here

You’re not alone in this season. You’re doing better than you think.